Pale Blue Eyes
by Occultics
Summary: Jill had given Marlin a blue feather during the beginning of the winter season, but he was unsure of her intentions. Will he come to realize what she wants of him, or will he continue to remain in his doubtful solitude?


A/N: Story is listed under the song title by The Velvet Underground, and is a one-shot based on Jill/Marlin, also based on events that happened on the save file that I played.

Sweat beaded on his forehead as he lifted shipments, boxes of fresh vegetables ready to be catered to Mineral Town as well as the small establishments around town like the Inner Inn and the Blue Bar. It wasn't even lunchtime yet and already Marlin could feel the onset of tiredness, but to him it seemed a side effect of his illness; he fatigued more easily than he used to and he knew his older sister was always concerned about his wellbeing, but he wasn't one for coddling and Vesta knew that, trying to keep her uneasiness to a minimum. He heaved a box of corn onto another, writing down the details of the order in a little notebook kept in his pocket for documentation but his focus was slightly disturbed when the door to the little shack opened. Pocketing the notebook, he turned around.

To his joyful surprise, which manifested itself in a slight twitch of his eyebrow, he saw Jill standing there with a small smile on her face, her bright eyes focused on him which evoked a sense of warmth blossoming in the center of his chest. His gaze lingered on her face for a second too long, he thought, but immediately looked at the steel jug of milk in her hands: her usual delivery which he looked forward to every second day. But it wasn't the second day just yet, which confused him.

"Good morning," he said quietly.

"Hello! Vesta wasn't outside nor was she in the house," she set down the jug on the table that separated them, "Celia told me she went to go discuss something with Ruby so I decided to come and give this to you instead."

"Oh, well thank you. It's much appreciated."

"Yes, it might be foolish of me but I didn't get around to milking my cow yesterday evening because I fell asleep so I had a couple extra this morning." Jill sighed, rubbing her arms in thought.

Marlin frowned. "Don't overwork yourself."

"I'm trying my best to take care of myself, you don't need to worry about me." Jill gave a small, appreciative smile at him, causing him to drop his eyes.

His ears suddenly felt very, very hot.

"Well, I'll let her know you stopped by. She'll love this surprise." He said.

Jill seemed to notice his sudden turn of demeanour, noting the way he'd slipped his hands in his pocket and leaned back against the boxes and she wasn't sure if he was feeling awkward or wanted some space. Taking a step back she gave him another small smile.

"Oh, yes since the weather's been changing and since it finally feels like winter I'd like to buy some strawberries and carrots."

She'd already harvested the fall vegetables and packed and put them away in the fridge all in the same evening, looking forward to cooking some soup or salad for herself, for Nina, for Ruby, or possibly for the man standing before her. Jill thought of herself as an old lady in that regard, she loved cooking for others or giving away some crops she'd grown herself; giving away her prized milk was the best because of the smiles it put on peoples' faces. Especially Marlin's. She noticed he didn't smile much, or at all, but in the rare moments they were alone, or having a chuckle at the bar during the late evenings, or that time they'd had a small chat riverside in the fall, that small upturn of his lips had and always sent her heart quickening.

Marlin nodded, going to a corner of the shack to evaluate how many seeds they had for the season, then making a mental note of the shortage of turnip seeds — he'd tell Vesta about it whenever she came back.

"Of course, how many would you like of each?" He inquired, pulling out his notebook once more, his pale blue eyes looking over his shoulder at her.

Jill met his gaze momentarily and felt shy. "I think 10 of each would suffice."

"Alright," getting a smaller box, he placed the bags of seeds within and put them on the table. "That will be 600 gold, please."

She shilled out the currency, placing it in his hands and for a moment their knuckles brushed; it was an insignificant gesture but the heat suddenly spread to Marlin's cheeks as he quickly withdrew his hands away from hers, and Jill did the same, refraining from the urge to just grab the box and run out of the shack, never to return to Vesta's farm ever again. Or so she wished (but not really).

"Thank you."

Suddenly, remembering the true reason why she came, she felt a certain something burning a hole in her pocket and she nervously tucked a rouge strand of brown hair behind her ear, clearing her throat. Marlin's eyes met hers once again, an inquisitive shine silently asking why she was so quiet — sometimes it surprised her how she could read the different silences he put out in certain situations; at the bar they were attentive and interested but withdrawn and when she was talking to Celia or Vesta, they were subdued. When they passed each other during their errands or afternoon walks in town he seemed pleased and open and when they had a chat every once in a while he was warm, inquisitive, and affable. She was never able to read other people like that, with the exception of Takakura sometimes, when he saw how brightly her sheep's eyes twinkled or how healthily her cow's hide shone from intensive care, which was why she was so surprised when it came to Marlin and his demeanours.

"Uh, hm." Jill cleared her throat again, suddenly feeling the adrenaline spike as her shaky hands reached inside her pocket. "I didn't just come here to buy um, seeds or t-to just give you milk—" her heart burned and pumped inside her chest as she berated herself for tripping over her own damn words like this. She carefully walked around the table and approached him on the side where he stood, keeping her lips slightly upturned even though her insides felt like they would burst any moment now.

Marlin kept his gaze on her, unwavering as his heart too skipped a beat, wondering just _why was she acting so nervously_? She was making him nervous for crying out loud! Resisting the urge to slip his hands in his pockets as a defense mechanism he usually resorted to, he kept them at his sides to show his openness and willingness to see what she had to say. He watched her pull out a richly-coloured azure feather, one unlike any birds' feather he had ever seen before in his life — it was gorgeous, to say the least.

"What is this… ?"

Jill watched his facial expressions carefully, gauging his surprise and genuine interest as he took it from her hands and inspected it with caution as if it would disappear if he didn't. He wasn't dumb, he'd heard certain stories about this feather but then again he was still unsure of her intentions; of all people why would she give _him _a beautiful gift such as this? He'd never received anything like it and thought maybe other people who weren't him deserved it more than he did but here he was, standing in a shack in one of the smallest villages in the world, on a rainy day, alone with a woman who he felt made flowers bloom in the darkest parts of him. When he thought of Jill, he thought of the sunniest days in Forget-Me-Not Valley, and of the sunlight filtering through the greenest leaves spring had to offer, of the peace the river brought to him on his most difficult days. Marlin felt overwhelmed.

"U-um." He wasn't able to bring any words to fruition. "Jill." He looked at her, only to see a slight frown on her face, not realizing she was watching him as closely as he'd thought. Apparently his face and the moments he took to think of anything, anything to say at all was too long and she gave the tiniest of sighs.

"Just keep it, thanks for the seeds." She picked up the crate of seeds he'd given her just moments ago with a swiftness he never thought she'd had, walking out into the rain and leaving him in a stillness where the only noise was his racing heart.

_Damn it, you idiot. _Leaning against the boxes of vegetables once more, he cradled the feather in his hands and slid down to sit on the hay-scattered floor, alone with his thoughts.

Meanwhile Jill had nearly tripped over a damn mushroom outside of Vesta's farm, sending her stumbling forward almost dropping the box's contents but she'd managed to land on her knees in the mud. Tears threatened to spill over the edges of her eyes, thinking back on Marlin's hesitation about the feather, her proposal, but she hooked her fingers on the bottom of the box and got back up. She carefully made her way across the bridge. As soon as she'd made it to her farm and dropped them on the shelf inside her storage, she opened the door to the stables where her sheep and cow, Alei and Pam approached to greet her. Jill wrapped an arm around Pam and finally cried, sinking to her knees and watched through blurry tears as Alei curled up beside her, resting his head on her lap, both animals listening to her mournful sobs.

As Jill sat there, stroking the area behind Alei's ears and feeling Pam nestle herself into the curve of her spine, she figured animals could not fully understand emotions as human beings but they definitely could sense when something was wrong. This realization made her cry a little more, mentally making sure to give Pam a little more fodder and Alei a thorough brush in the evening. When she had finished crying, she made her way back to the cabin and let her hair down, massaging her scalp where the hair tie had been keeping her hair in place all morning; it was quite sore. It was early afternoon as well. Seeing to it that she'd milked Pam before going to Vesta's farm, and that the rain would see to keeping her crops hydrated without her interference, it would be perfect time for a tiny nap today. The crying session she'd had had begun to take a toll on her head. Jill shed her jeans and crawled into bed, listening to the rain pattering on her roof and allowed it to lull her to a light sleep, dreaming of nothing but cherry blossom leaves falling from the skies.

Marlin was still sitting on the ground, gently caressing the edges of the feather, thinking of the emotion he beheld in Jill's eyes right before she'd left the shack in a hurry. He regretted taking that long to give her an answer, to just smile as he had whenever she brought him milk, or whenever she came to visit him on even the rainiest days, or when she'd suddenly turn up at the bar only to take a seat next to him each night. If he could smile and talk to her then, why not now? Marlin's heart ached at the emptiness he felt when he was left in silence, regretting the way he hadn't gone out to catch her in the rain like that cheesy drama he saw sometimes in the evenings, or to just let her know that everything was okay and that he appreciated her gift — but nothing came out and now she probably hated him.

That sudden thought made him sigh out loud. Marlin wanted to dwell in his self-pity for longer, but it was interrupted when there was a knock at the door and he was up in a flash, pocketing the feather with even more haste. He pretended to look over his notes as his sister approached.

"I saw Jill earlier, she stopped by?"

The mention of her name hurt. "Yeah, she just dropped off some milk for you," he gestured towards the table, "and to buy some seeds for the winter."

"How much did she buy?" Vesta asked, directing a smile towards the milk.

"Uh, she bought 10 of strawberries and 10 of carrots, totalling up to 600. There's also a shortage of turnips so maybe you should order some of those."

"Okay, thank you."

Vesta watched her younger brother carefully, noticing the way he avoided her gaze even when she came in — that wasn't abnormal but he hadn't looked at her once and his shoulders seemed more tense. Was it just the rain? Was he expecting her to bug him about the weather as she normally did? Either way, something was wrong and it bothered her. He seemed to sense the change in atmosphere and hesitantly lifted his gaze to her frowning, mentally cursing himself for not hiding his emotions better.

"Alright, there's something that's bothering you Marlin, and I know it's not the weather,." Vesta paused for a moment. "It's probably not my hassling either, as much as I know how much it bothers you. But not this much."

Marlin remained dangerously quiet and Vesta didn't dare say anything. "Something happened with Jill."

"… Can I ask what happened?"

He didn't respond again, instead running a hand through his raven locks and giving another deep sigh that left him almost gasping for air right away. Marlin didn't want to speak about it as his throat closed up, trying to hide the physical cues he was about to cry from his sister. Vesta observed his hesitation and slowly approached him, placing a careful hand on his shoulder with soft eyes.

"If you want to talk, let me know. I'll be inside."

Once again he was left alone with his thoughts. Mentally gathering himself together, he went out into the rain and made his way towards the bar.

The first cocktail he'd downed within minutes left his chest feeling lighter and his head buzzing with an artificial happiness he hadn't felt since earlier that day. Marlin hadn't eaten much aside from a soup Vesta had made for lunch and the drinks were going down easily; he wasn't normally like this but the pain he'd felt that day was a little much to endure, and wasn't used to this degree of encumbrance. Muffy noticed he was a little on edge and nudged Griffin, subtly nodding towards the dark-haired man when he wasn't looking and he got the message, making sure to add a little more mix to the drinks Marlin ordered.

Griffin had tried to ask Marlin about how his day went and how he was doing, but all his questions were met with a shrug of the shoulder and a more-than-vague answer which left him a little appalled. Both the bartenders kept a close eye on him as Marlin ordered a little more than he normally would, staying bar-side for several hours until he was barely able to walk. Muffy had asked him if he was alright, touching his forearm which was met with a firm yes when he shook her off, he continued to stumble out into the cool damp night. They watched him carefully from the door as he meandered past the Inner Inn but eventually made a sharp left towards Jill's farm, hoping the other farmer was awake and would take care of him. The two shrugged and made their way back inside.

* * *

Jill was boiling a sort of potato-tomato soup when a loud knocking at her door made her jump, suspicious of who would stop by at this time of late eve. When she opened the door she was surprised to be met by a swaying Marlin who'd steadied himself by the frame of her doorway, and she caught him by his shoulders, watching as he slowly blinked.

"Jill," he breathed, lifting his gaze to meet her own, noting her nonplussed expression. "May I come in?"

At first she didn't know what to say, but eventually nodded and guided him inside towards her couch, closing the door behind them. She watched him lean back against the soft cushions, struggling to take off his boots but managing to slip them off and neatly throw them towards the mat that graced her door.

"I need—to talk to you." He hiccupped, resting the crook of his right arm over his eyes, sinking into the comfort of her cushions.

"Well, what about?" Jill had remained quiet before responding, aware of his drunken state. "But please don't push yourself too hard—"

"Don't say things like that." Marlin interrupted, suddenly looking at her from under his arm. "You'll only make me…"

Jill frowned as he trailed off and cut off his line of sight of her, adjusting his position and facing towards the back cushions of her sofa, his pale blue eyes opened and staring blankly ahead at nothing in particular. His world was spinning this way and that, and the only thing Marlin could smell was the shampoo she'd washed her hair with earlier that day.

"I'll make you what?" Her voice was barely above a whisper and the only thing he could feel was her crouched beside him, making Marlin feel even more nervous about the reason why he came in the first place.

He remained quiet. Reaching behind his back, outstretching his palm, searching for her fingers until they finally interlaced with his own, he gave a deep sigh as his heart continued to race quicker and quicker as he ran his thumb over her knuckles comfortingly.

"You're going to make me fall for you even more."

Jill breathed, watching his thumb's ministrations and in that moment she could only think of his hesitation back in the shack when she'd first come to him earlier that day with the most beautiful feather in her possession. The way his eyebrows furrowed. The way his pale lips parted with an unsure sigh. The way he hadn't come after her when she'd left him urgently. If he had the time to say such things now why hadn't he said those words back then when it meant the most? When Jill had gathered the most courage she had ever had in her life, when it took all she had inside? She'd wanted to think some more on Marlin's words, but all of it was suddenly interrupted with his monologue, breaking the silence within her cabin.

"I know I did not say anything when it probably meant the world to you when you came with the feather, and I know my fear took over when it wasn't supposed to in the moment. I was scared to say the wrong thing and I was afraid to say anything at all, because I literally had nothing to say. I knew that _that _nothingness I had to say would not have gone over well with you, and I tried searching for the right words in the time you and I had together; that I was happy, that I was content, that it was everything I had dreamed of in the past few months that I had met you. That I had thought about that moment in everything I had since you'd moved to the Valley. When I first laid eyes on you I thought, wow—that woman is the spitting image of her father and whenever you came to Vesta's farm to give us milk, I always wanted to thank you myself. I never had the courage and I felt Celia watching me whenever I felt the urge to approach you, but I always appreciated your milk: it made our soups and early mornings that much better. I looked forward to your arrival every second day. I hope you know that. I loved when you came this morning only for me, and I absolutely loved the feather you gave me—it's unlike anything I've ever received in my life aside from the milk you have personally given me.

Jill giggled at this, tightening her grip on his hand, feeling only the slightest bit strange.

"And as I said before, that I just don't do this with anyone," Marlin adjusted himself so that he was lying on his back, able to meet Jill's warm gaze, "not even Celia. I'm surprised you even let me in, in the state that I am right now. I apologize that I wasn't able to give you anything in return for the beautiful feather you have given me, and I deeply regret that—"

"No, no." Jill cut him off with a smile, "it means a lot that you stopped by and I forgive you for not giving me a reaction at least."

They both heartily laughed, Jill resting her head on his chest. She could hear his racing heart. Their fingers were still interlaced and Jill observed his strongly-contoured knuckles, tightening her grip and simply enjoying the quiet moment they had, listening to her record player sounding some gentle Frank Sinatra music she'd gotten from Van sometime last season.

"Marlin." Jill said quietly.

"Jill."

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

She heard the air enter and exit his lungs, suddenly smelling the alcohol on his breath and remembering that this probably wasn't right, as much as they both admired each other. Marlin reached out to Jill, tucking a strand behind her ear as her head continued to rest on his chest.

"You know the answer to that, Jill." Marlin gave a deep sigh, stroking the hair on top of her head. "I need to go back soon."

"I know, I thought I would at least ask, because I thoroughly enjoy your presence."

"I enjoy yours, as well."

They remained together for a little while longer, drinking in Sinatra's sultry tones, neither of them wanting Marlin to leave that night. It was cold, they'd giggled, it was windy, it was late, it wasn't worth the effort; they'd come up with every excuse for him to stay until he'd put on his shoes, his pale blue eyes gazing longingly into Jill's as he stood in the cool frame of her doorway. She ran her hands along the angles of his shoulders.

"Promise you'll come back tomorrow?" She inquired, not fully believing that he'd come over tonight, some part of her rationalizing that this was part of a dream manifested by her yearning.

That doubt was erased completely when he leaned his face close to hers, oh-so-slowly, approaching her with a sort of stillness that was akin to the swaying of the cherry blossoms that surrounded her farm the spring she'd first arrived to. Marlin was calm. Marlin was real. Marlin was here.

"I promise."

With that, she watched his figure disappear down the path towards his own farm, where he'd honestly toss and turn all night at the thought of the girl he was to marry at the end of the winter season. Time couldn't pass quickly enough, Jill thought, but all that mattered was that they would be together again, and they both thought of the future they'd have with each other, eventually falling asleep to imagining each other's voices lulling them to sleep.


End file.
